The Nobuyuki Show!
by Shikujiru Ikazuchi
Summary: The infallable Nobu-chan gets a talk show. Not the TM Nobu, Nobu as in me! ^_^


A man and a woman are sitting in a production booth above a TV set smoking cigarettes. Camera then focuses on the ash tray, which is full of cigarette butts. On the set, many stagehands and actors bustle, and two men talk back and forth about rules and regulations. The camera shifts back to the booth  
  
Man in booth: (sigh) How many tries is this show going to take? I'm sick of this!  
  
Camera looks out the booth window and focuses on two men on the set.  
  
Stagehand: No, Nobu. This is the camera.  
  
Nobuyuki (quizically points to an illuminated red light on the camera): What's this light mean?  
  
Stagehand: This means we're recording.  
  
Nobuyuki: ...Oh! Hi mom!  
  
Producer: Hey, we're recording here! Stop that!  
  
Nobuyuki: Sorry...  
  
Camera looks back to the booth.  
  
Woman in booth: You think he's even ready? Sure, he's cute and all, but he can't milk that forever. TV doesn't work that way.  
  
Man in booth rests his head on his hands: (sarcastically): Nope. Sure doesn't.  
  
The woman hits the man in the back of the head.  
  
Man in booth: Hey...  
  
Woman in booth: Jerk!  
  
Stagehand on floor: In three, two, one...  
  
Man in booth (weakly): Here we go again...  
  
Narrator (enthusiastically yelling): Welcome to the wonderful world of Nobu-chan!!  
  
Crowd (cheering): We love you Nobu-chan!  
  
Narrator (still yelling): That's right, and this is THE place to learn about Nobu-chan and his friends!! If you want action, if you want romance, if you want drama, and if you want (slams fist on the desk) COMEDY, look no further!! And now, from sunny California, let me introduce... Nobuyuki!!  
  
Crowd cheers again as Nobuyuki waltzes onto the set and sits at his desk. The crowd quiets down as Nobuyuki raises his hands for silence.  
  
Woman in crowd: Nobuyuki-sama!! Can I talk to you for a moment?  
  
Nobuyuki is taken aback and the crowd "Ooos".  
  
Nobuyuki (blushing as the cute girl smiles at him): Sure. Come on down here!  
  
The woman rushes down from the crowd.  
  
Man in booth : In the beginning, nobody thought this was scripted. If they had gotten it right the first time, this would have a better effect, you know.  
  
The camera looks over the man's shoulder at the set as Nobuyuki and the woman embrace to the obvious enjoyment of the crowd.  
  
Woman in booth: I know what you mean. On the 738th take, you'd figure they would've gotten bored with this.  
  
Man in booth: Apparently watching Nobuyuki kiss some hot chick for 3 minutes never gets old...  
  
The woman stares at the man.  
  
Woman in booth: You're weird.  
  
Man in booth: What?  
  
Back on stage, the two relenquish their hold on each other.  
  
Nobuyuki: I thought you wanted to talk.  
  
Woman from crowd: I still do.  
  
Nobuyuki: Well, first... What's your name?  
  
Woman from crowd: Aeka. Aeka Misaki.  
  
Nobuyuki facefaults: GAH!!!  
  
Narrator (yelling enthusiastically): Wow!! How UNEXPECTED!! This is certainly ASTOUNDING, isn't it ladies and gentlemen?!  
  
Crowd cheers loudly.  
  
Man from crowd: I want you Aeka!  
  
Aeka: Oh, no...  
  
Man: Hey, Aeka!  
  
Aeka sighs: You again? I have a restraining order against you, you know.  
  
Man from crowd: C'mon, Aeka! Show me some of that log stuff!  
  
Nobuyuki hangs his head low: That doesn't sound right...  
  
Aeka (calmly): I promised before that I wouldn't hurt you, Kouji-san. Don't make me fall back on my promise.  
  
Kouji shuts up and sits back down.  
  
Back to the booth.  
  
Woman in booth leans forward: Uh... Is all of that in the script? (checks the script)  
  
Man in booth puts his hands on the desk and stand up: Who the hell cares?! This is some damn good TV!! Ratings, here we come!! (dances) This is great, Aika! We'll be rich!!  
  
As the man dances on the table, the woman comes to a decision: You're an idiot, Samuto...  
  
The crowd is cheering still, but quiets down as Aeka raises her hands for silence.  
  
Aeka: Nobu-sama wants to talk.  
  
Nobuyuki: Aeka, what's the meaning of this?  
  
Aeka: Well, Washu said that if I came here to see you, we could be rich!  
  
Nobuyuki sighs: You mean SHE could be rich...  
  
Aeka: What?  
  
Nobuyuki sighs: Aeka, has Washu done any experiments on you lately?  
  
Aeka: Yes, Nobu-sama. Why do you ask?  
  
Nobuyuki: She did this to me before... You'll do whatever she wants you to do unconciously. If she commands you mentally to do her bidding, you will. It's that simple. I bet all she wants is more cash for her equipment.  
  
Just then, a woman bursts through the door to the set wearing headphones.  
  
Woman in doorway: Ha! It's quite a bit more complicated than THAT, Nobuyuki!  
  
Aika: ... This sucks. I'm leaving.  
  
Samuto (glued to the action): Suit yourself.  
  
Nobuyuki: Washu?!  
  
Washu: Yeah, what's it to ya?  
  
Nobuyuki: Nothing! It's just that--  
  
Washu: Ya miss me? Good, I miss you too. Now, where was I? Oh, that's right. WHY THE HELL ARE YOU ON A TALK SHOW?!  
  
Nobuyuki stutters incoherently.  
  
Washu: Damn straight 'cause I told you! Now, go get me a box of chocolates!  
  
Nobuyuki (mechanically): Yes, Washu-sama.  
  
Nobuyuki leaves slowly as Aeka blinks in shock.  
  
Washu: Aeka?  
  
Aeka slowly turns to Washu, mouth open in shock: Y-y-yes Washu?  
  
Washu grins: Go get me some milk!  
  
Aeks (robotically): Hai, Washu-sama...  
  
Aeka leaves slowly as the audience blinks in shock. Washu floats up to the center of the stage.  
  
Washu: Hello everybody! This is now the "Washu Show!" Everybody opposed to this may leave.  
  
Everybody murmurs and starts to leave.  
  
Washu: SIT DOWN!  
  
Evrybody shuts up and sits, except for one pitiful moron who dares defy Washu's bidding.  
  
Washu: Hey, you! Sit down. Don't disrespect my show!  
  
Man: Fat chance! This is stupid! It's like watching Jerry Springer or something. I'm gone.  
  
Washu: Wanna be my co-host?  
  
Man: Hell yeah!  
  
Washu: Good for you.  
  
Washu presses a few buttons on her holotop and the man is transported away.  
  
Man: EEP!  
  
Washu: Humph. Didn't want to watch, huh?  
  
Samuto over intercom: Hey, what's going on? Where's Nobuyuki?  
  
Washu: He had to leave. I'll be yer host now!  
  
Samuto: No that's not going to work. Where did he go?  
  
Washu: Take it or leave it, kid.  
  
Samuto (yells): What?! I'm a lot older than you, missy! Now, get off the stage or I'll call security!  
  
Washu pushes a few buttons and a blaster appears in her left hand: S. I. T. Sit.  
  
Samuto (gulps): Er, um, yes ma'am!  
  
Washu: Hit it, Al!  
  
Narrator: This is the moment you've ALL been waiting for, folks! The first episode of the WASHU SHOW!!!  
  
Washu (reclining in the comfortable chair behind Nobuyuki's desk): Hey, this is nice!  
  
* * *  
  
Okay, so that wasn't as productive as I thought, but it is kinda funny! ^_^  
  
Writing Copyright Sunday, 20 August, 2000, 6:26:05 AM, Sean Peters  
  
Tenchi Muyo and all things associated are copyright AIC, Inc. and Pioneer and whoever else has stock in it. 


End file.
